That Far Shore
by bluekrishna
Summary: Post-Control Ending! Written for MisDirected's Sept writing challenge. Summary: The Reapers have ceased their attacks on the galaxy's inhabitants, but they are not gone. They appear and disappear, leaving fear and worry in their wake. What are they up to? What could they possibly want, if not to pick up where they left off? And what does Garrus' visor have to do with it?
1. Chapter 1

Monsters stalked the dark spaces between worlds. Every being felt a shiver and fell silent when their vast shadows drew near. Their inexplicable appearances in skies over hundreds of worlds caused panic. Would they strike anew? Then, just when the tension would reach a breaking point, the metal behemoths would depart.

Ever since the blue light flooded the cosmos and ended the war, it had been like this. They came, they hovered with what seemed like palpable menace, then they would leave. The people of the galaxy bucked against the apparent threat lying so close at hand and screamed, "Why?!"

Something had to give soon.

* * *

"-IIIIII WANNA RUUUUUUN TO YOU! WON'T YOU HOLD ME IN YOUR AAAAAAR-"

Garrus lunged out of bed as his alarm went off, blaring music right into his ear, bouncing it around the interior of his already aching cranium. He stumbled about the small cabin in a panicked daze and slapped at his visor; the source of the shrieking female's voice. All efforts to hit the reset button failed, so he tore the blasted thing from his face and flung it across the room. Only then did his befuddlement withdraw enough for him to ask, "Whzfauktgh?"

That was no good, so he tried again, squeezing out each word between panting breaths, "What. The. Actual. Fuck?"

"Uuungh. Keep it down, Vakarian," said a low, raspy voice near his feet. Kaidan's face appeared in the jumble of blankets on the floor. "If I'd known you had night terrors, I wouldn't have invited you to share my lodge."

"Sorry . . .. " The turian winced and grabbed a half-empty beer off the night stand. Stale and flat, but it washed the dryness in his throat away. He choked the bitter brew down and prayed that it wouldn't come back up any time soon. A rumbling in his crop informed him that the possibility loomed. Garrus bolted for the door, flung it open and emptied his guts into a convenient snowbank. When he finished, he realized just how fucking _cold_ the winter air was and retreated back inside.

Kaidan shot him a glare as the human got up and dressed. His whole demeanor grumped, _Well, I guess I'm up now._

"I'm s-"

"Yeah, you're sorry. I get it." Kaidan's expression softened. The biotic turned his back and started folding blankets.

Garrus retrieved his visor and ran his hands over it, puzzled.

Kaidan grunted. "Fifth time this week, Garrus. Bad dreams?"

"I don't dream. Or at least I haven't since . . .. " The men shared a meaningful glance. Garrus ran his fingers over the familiar contours of the device laying in his palm. "I think my visor's broken."

"What does that have to do with you jumping out of bed every morning like someone shoved a red-hot poker up your ass?"

" . . . Interesting imagery. Tell me, did this happen a lot in Earth history?"

Kaidan laughed. "Enough times for there to be an idiom. And to at least one king that I know of."

"Savages . . .. Anyway, yeah, it's my alarm. It's, well, it's being a bastard."

"How so?"

"I set it for the same time every day, you know, and it's supposed to chime three times. Here, listen." He put it to the human's ear so Kaidan could hear the low, musical tones. The biotic nodded in understanding, a grave expression on his face. Garrus had a feeling it might be hiding a smile or a laugh at his expense. He continued, "Polite little sounds to wake me up. Like someone clearing their throat to get your attention."

"Downright civil, even." A tic appeared in Kaidan's cheek, warning of impending mirth.

"Lately, it's been setting itself to ring using the music files in its memory."

"So a little music and you turians can't resist hobnailing the hardwood?"

" . . . What?" Mystified, Garrus could only stare at the human.

"Shakin' your booty. Boogie-ing. Getting down. Cutting a rug. And to a lesser extent, busting a move." Kaidan couldn't hold a straight face anymore and burst out in laughter. "Oh, your face! Man, priceless."

"Dancing? Spirits, you humans have sayings for everything, don't you?" Garrus shook his head.

"So what is it about this music that makes you jump and jive?" Kaiden clamped his lips shut on what was certain to be another 'witty' remark.

Garrus narrowed his eyes and said, "When it kicks on, it's fucking loud. Like 'shake-all-the-cobwebs-in-my-rafters-loose' loud. One might find that alarming."

"One might."

"Thing is . . . "

"Yeah?"

"This isn't _my_ music. I never downloaded these songs. I don't even know where the hell they come from. Or who this screaming harpy is."

Kaidan frowned. "That is weird. Let me have a listen."

Garrus queued the sound file and hit play. He held the visor out so Kaidan could take it and put it on. He looked a bit funny with the oversize thing hanging off one of those ridiculous ears. The turian stifled a chuckle.

After a few minutes, Kaidan's frown deepened and his brows shot up in surprise. The biotic hummed and said, "I recognize this. It's Terran. Twentieth century. Hmm, maybe Shepard downloaded them before . . .."

At her name, Garrus felt a sharp pain in his heart and flinched, looking away for a moment.

Kaidan squeezed his shoulder in sympathy. "Sorry, bud."

The turian waved it away. "It's been nearly a year. Can't say I'll ever be over it, but we shouldn't be afraid to say her name. That would be the real tragedy."

"True."

After a long pause, Garrus said, "Anyway, that massive burst of energy from the Crucible scrambled every piece of hardware from one end of the galaxy to the other. I had to wipe this thing clean and start from scratch, so there's no way she put them on there and they stayed uncorrupted. No matter how mischievous she was feeling."

"She did love her pranks. Remember when she sent Kasumi off on that wild goose chase after some Incan artifact on Illium?"

"It wasn't Incan. It was a Chachapoyan Fertility Idol and it wasn't real. It was a prop from that vid Joker made us watch. The one with the melting fascists."

"And not only was it not there, but the access panel for the secure 'vault' it was supposed to be in turned out to be the master control switch for every emergency siren in that city block? Kasumi told me she had to take to the sewers to evade capture."

"She didn't talk to Shepard for a week." Such bittersweet remembrance. Garrus' swallowed past the lump in his throat and laughed. "And that time she taught Grunt that human mating dance?"

"Twerking. Poor kid never lived that one down, but I hear Aria still asks after him on occasion." Kaidan grinned, then his face fell into a serious scowl. "So, how did this music get on there then?"

"Beats me. Other than the unlikely conclusion of it just magically popping on there overnight, I can only think of one other possibility: That it's downloading itself from the extranet."

"But there is no extranet. Not yet, anyway." Kaidan snorted and leaned back on the bunk. "They only just got the relays back up."

"No extranet, no QE, barely any communications at all. and only short range, at that. radio and so forth." Mulling over the facts, Garrus ran a hand over his fringe and worried at the problem for a good while. "Liara. She's still on Earth, right?"

"Yeah, she's helping with the negotiations, securing transport and shelter for civilian refugees on untouched worlds until this whole mess is straightened out." Kaidan stood with a groan. "We could take a shuttle out there from Vancouver. Find her and find out what the hell is up with your visor. I'm curious now."

"I have a feeling . . .. Well, we should look into it anyway." Garrus couldn't give voice to the nameless feeling that swamped him then. A nebulous sort of disquiet that clenched his guts into knots. A realization struck him and he groaned. "Does that mean we have to hike back through all that snow?"

"Just wear the hardsuit. It's rated for EVA, right? A little winter chill won't kill you." The biotic started pulling on his own armor and gathering supplies for their nature walk. "Besides, if I have to put up with getting woken up at the ass-crack of dawn again, I might have to murder you out here."

"Missing out on your beauty sleep, are you, Alenko? Can't have that." Garrus paused to put his helmet on, listening to it hiss as it sealed. He shouldered his pack and rifle and followed the biotic out the door and into the woods. They paused at the rim of the valley and looked back. Garrus sighed. "So much for peace and quiet. It's a shame to cut our leave short."

"Shit happens. Probably would have went stir-crazy if we did the whole month anyway. Hunting was good, though, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, fun. Too bad I couldn't eat any of it."

"Elk's mighty tasty, too. Oh, well. C'est la vie."


	2. Chapter 2

"You gotta do something about this, Liara. It's driving both of us mad," Kaidan said, leaning over the desk to catch her eye. Garrus sighed and shifted around on his chair. Three days it took to finally track her down. Three more rude awakenings. While he exercised enough prudence to remember to take the visor off before light's out, whatever it was that had infected his favorite piece of gear had also taken over the thing's external speakers. Now they both got blasted out of sleep with music. He didn't know the damn thing could get so loud.

He even tried a preemptive maneuver; setting the clock forward so he could wake before it went off. That failed in spectacular fashion. He'd caught a knee in the chest from his flailing bunkmate. Two angry, violent men bumping around a small hotel room in the dark do not make for a good combination. No matter how amiable they happen to be in their right minds. That damn visor seemed to sense when he started the slow climb into wakefulness and went off like a time bomb, proceeded to try to pummel his grey matter into sludge with sound.

Liara hummed in thought. "You could just throw it into a cycler."

Garrus did his level best not to glare at her. He crossed his arms and focused his ire at her left lapel, imagining it char and smoke under his stare.

"Riiiight. Forget I said anything." Liara smiled, chagrin purpling her cheeks. She turned to Kaidan. "I don't understand why it's driving _both_ of you crazy. You could just not sleep in the same room as him, Kaidan."

"Do you know how crowded Earth is still? We're lucky to have found rooms available at all!" The biotic waved his arms in the air. "Maybe if you could start shuffling the fleets back to their respective homes a little faster-"

"-Do you think it's _easy_ to navigate the stars without telemetry data? Without sensors and comms and charts? Thank the Goddess we still have the geth. Without them, we'd be looking at starvation by now!" She jabbed the human in the chest and cocked a hip. "You have no idea how hard it's been to reconstruct all that math. I have all the best minds working on it around the clock. Do you_ know_ what it's like to feel like you're running a _sweatshop_ full of _scientists?! Cracking the whip over their bowed backs, furiously scribbling fingers and be-spectacled faces?!"_

Her voice got more and more shrill with each passing minute, until Garrus had to clap his hands over his aural canals. _Too much noise lately._ He hissed. "Shh. We're all adults here. No need to yell. Look, we've brought you a mystery. You know you love to unravel puzzles. Here-"

Liara listened as he explained the phenomenon. Her eyes grew rounder as time passed, until she too seemed eager to know the why of it. The visor in her hand now held the entirety of her awe-stricken attention. She made an intrigued noise when he described how he tried to trick it and how it responded like it had a mind of its own. She said, "It's probably reading your biometric signature, watching your heartbeat and monitoring brainwaves."

"Great, so it really does know when I'm about to wake up." Garrus pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Any ideas? Cause I'm tapped."

"Shouldn't be possible. Random data couldn't just spontaneously generate a known pop song from Earth's history. Has to come from somewhere. But where?" She played with her lip as the words tumbled out in a rush. "Extranet's down. Maybe-? No, silly idea-"

Kaidan elbowed Garrus in the ribs. "Sounds like that salarian you guys had working on the genophage cure."

Garrus snickered in agreement. "A rant like that is definitely Mordin-worthy. Wait, how did you know about Solus?"

The biotic shrugged. "Surveillance vids. Council kept tabs on Shepard."

"I'll bet." Garrus smirked as Kaidan chuckled.

The two men lapsed into silence as Liara's gaze swept over them. Garrus felt a stab of guilt at the consternation in her eyes. He'd come to her for answers, after all.

"I got a couple ideas, but I need to keep this for analysis." She waved the visor.

It hadn't been further than a couple of steps from his person since he'd bought it. It was as much a part of him as his mandibles. He resisted the urge to snatch it to his chest and growl, _No! Mine!_.

Garrus nodded and swallowed, casting one last longing look at it before saying to Liara, "How long?"

"Come back in a couple of days. I should have something by then." And with that, she turned from them, already hunched over her new toy.

As the men left the improvised headquarters of the Restoration Assembly, Garrus heaved a big sigh and watched his breath fog on the cold air.

Kaidan clapped him on the shoulder and said, "Aw, she won't keep it, big guy. You'll have it back before you know it."

The turian made his voice into a comical whine, "But I miss it already! I feel so . . . naked without it."

Sharing a laugh, they gazed out into the tent city nestled amid the ruins of London. Kaidan hummed. "Look on the bright side. We might get a decent night's sleep for once."

"Won't that be something."

* * *

Liara looked awful, and the way she stared daggers at them didn't help matters. Dark purple rings, bruise-like, circled her pale blue eyes. She fiddled with the datapads on her desk as they approached her.

On the other hand, Garrus felt great. Kaidan's assertion turned out to be right. A couple days break from the alarm and its inexplicable happenings did wonders for his state of mind.

The asari gestured for them to take a seat, which they did, shooting each other looks of trepidation. Garrus waited for her to say something, anything until he couldn't stand the suspense any longer. He blurted, "Did you find anything?"

Liara steepled her hands before her face and regarded him with narrowed eyes. He couldn't help but squirm a bit. She said, "This is a trick, isn't it? Tell me this is some scheme you two have cooked up together to steal what little rest I get. That it's because you spent far too much time around Shepard and her penchant for practical jokes and it's sort of rubbed off on you, like a social disease."

Garrus fell back into his seat, stunned.

"No joke, Liara." Kaidan said, just as taken aback as Garrus.

Liara sighed and closed her eyes. "Of course not. It couldn't just be easy. Nothing is easy."

"Did you, though? Find anything, that is?" Garrus inquired, gentling his tone. Suddenly, he regretted inflicting her with the thing and its mysteries.

"Around hour eleven, I closed my eyes for a minute to rest my mind and it started playing _this." _She touched a button on her console and the silence in the room shattered-

"-ND EVERY TIME I SCRATCH MY NAILS DOWN SOMEONE ELSE'S BACK I HOPE YOU FEEL IT . . . **WELL CAN YOU FEEL IT?! **WELL, I'M HEEEERE TO RE-" Then it cut off with another press of a button.

"Ghnghg," said Kaidan, wiggling a finger about in his ear.

Garrus let his hands drop back into his lap, having tried to muffle the raucous noise. He blinked a few times to jiggle his wits back into place before whispering, "How in hell is it getting louder?"

"When I cloned its databanks to examine the code, it took over all my audio systems. Every speaker in the building. It took me another ten hours just to isolate it to this room." Liara slumped down into her chair. "Good thing, too, because it keeps happening. Every time I even think about sleep, it's gone off. First this...Alanis Morissette song, then one called 'You Ain't Woman Enough', and finally, the last time I even attempted to lay my head down, 'Bite The Dust' by . . . ," she glanced at the data before her and said with a roll of her eyes, "Oh, that's right, the Pussycat Dolls."

Kaidan bit off a laugh mid-guffaw, then had the grace to blush when they both turned sharp looks on him. He ran a hand over his pompadour and said, armed with sheepish grin, "Sorry. That name's ridiculous."

"Your _hair_ is ridiculous," snapped Liara, then flapped her hands at both their incredulous stares in patent aggravation. Her face relaxed a fraction and she sighed. "Sorry. Short on sleep and frustrated beyond all measure."

"So it's hopeless, then? Am I going to have to scrap it?" Garrus said, a note of melancholy riding his subharmonics.

"Oh, Goddess, no!" She said, with excitement cracking her worn visage. Liara scooted to the edge of her chair and said, "Frustrating, but _fascinating. _Look!"

The wall of monitors behind her flickered to life at a wave of her hand. They showed a series of wavy lines, mapping the soundwaves of all eight songs that somehow ended up on his visor. And below their bright melodies, an . . . anomaly. The faintest of spikes indicating the presence of what most would think was simple junk data and white noise. It popped up on all of them.

Garrus jabbed a talon over those spikes. "What's that?"

"I knew you'd spot them! I don't know." She seemed very excited for not knowing. Her eyes glowed with it. "I really don't know! Nothing I have can decrypt them. But since you're here now, maybe you can help."

He hesitated, but nodded. "Sure, Liara. What do you need me to do?"


	3. Chapter 3

Turned out she needed his memory. However they ended up on his visor, the 'messages', as Liara called them, had no discernible time-stamps. To get the whole picture, she said, she needed to know what order they arrived in.

" . . . No. This one, _then_ this one," Garrus stood before the monitors and pointed, continuing, "Then the one that went, _But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more."_

"Are you sure?" said the exhausted asari, now almost thirty-six hours without a moment's respite.

"Well, pretty sure. I was hungover most of those mornings, buuuuut . . . yeah."

Kaidan grinned his way, "Didn't know you could sing, Garrus."

"Turian is a tonal language, Alenko. We _all_ have perfect pitch," he said with a dismissive snort and a wave. "Nothing to get excited about."

"Something you can do well and won't brag about? Impossible."

"There's a difference between talents and skills, Kaidan. You can be proud of skills. They don't come cheap. You work for them. Talents are an accident of birth." Garrus tapped the screen to show Liara which one came next and turned to the human standing at his shoulder. "Now, some refine talents into skills with dedication and then they get to have bragging rights."

"Huh, true enough, I guess." Kaidan shrugged. The biotic jabbed a thumb at the screen. "You got those last two wrong, by the way."

"What? No, I didn't."

"Yeah, you did. Remember, _that_ morning," he pointed at a wave marked '_Always On My Mind', "_you did your best to shove your foot down my throat. I thought it ironic at the time that some guy was singing,_ And maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have."_

"Hmm, you're right. Liara, flip those last two around." The pair of men snickered to each other as an exasperated growl sounded from behind the stack of datapads. Garrus nudged Kaidan with an elbow. "You're not too shabby yourself. I never would have pegged you for a tenor. Baritone, maybe."

"Thanks. I blame it on karaoke night in the barracks."

"What's karaoke?"

Kaidan huffed a short laugh and said, "How 'bout I show you tonight? There's gotta be at least one bar open out in the city."

"Really? Doesn't seem all that likely to me."

"Priorities, Garrus. After the year we've had, people are going to want to drink." Kaidan dropped his voice to conspiracy levels of softness. "And if there's one thing I know, wherever there are drunk people, there will be karaoke."

* * *

The morning found them standing once again before the monitors, bleary-eyed and, for the most part, drunk. Liara regarded the pair with pity and disgust until they explained how, in a show of solidarity, they decided to stay up through the whole night. For her. So she wouldn't suffer alone. Then they laughed as a smile and a frown tried to appear at the same time on her pale blue face, causing a confused twitching that only stilled when she scrubbed at her cheeks with both hands.

"Can we be serious for just one second?" Liara lamented.

Garrus slapped his hand over Kaidan's mouth, knowing that the human grew more and more smart-assed the drinkier he got. And right now, the human skirted the border of drinkiest. "Yeah, serious. We can do that."

Kaidan mumbled a vehement and filthy negative against his palm, but the turian ignored him.

"Watch what happens when we overlap the messages." At a flick of her finger on the console, all the waves collapsed into one. The mystery spikes lined up in regular intervals. Its significance was lost on Garrus, who shook his head as he tried to puzzle it out. Liara waved. "See?!"

"Okay, pretend for a minute that I'm, shall we say, in-neeebriated. What am I looking at?" Garrus looked down at Kaidan, who chose that moment to sort of _lean _on him. With a gentle shove, he righted the biotic, who then slumped down into himself in a stupor.

"It's too orderly to be random, so I had some geth look at it. They say it's part of a locator program."

"Locating what?"

"Um, for lack of a better word . . . " Her eyes darted around, avoiding him.

Suspicious little thoughts started gathering in the foggy landscape of his mind, bumping into each other and pardoning themselves. "Spit it out, Liara."

"You!" she blurted, then squeaked and covered her mouth. "Um, you. Specifically, your location."

"What? Why would someone want to monitor my whereabouts?"

"That's not all . . .." Liara's tone dripped apprehension. Enough to make Garrus' pulse hike. She whispered, "The geth say they've seen this sort of program before. It's Reaper code. And it's almost complete."

It felt like a bucket of ice water had been upended over him. Clarity stole over him with breathtaking swiftness. Sobriety wasn't meant to sucker punch one in the face however and instead of focusing his thoughts, it scattered them from their careful queues and patient waiting for his attention until all that was left was a sort of numb and blinding horror.

Just then, his visor decided it was time for the morning wakeup call and blared, "-ERY CLAIM YOU STAAAAKE, I'LL BE WATCHING YOUUUU. SINCE YOU'VE GONE I BEEN LOST WITHOUT A TRACE. I DREAM AT NIGHT AND I CAN ONLY SEE YOUR FA-"

Liara threw her mug with startling accuracy and the sound sputtered and died.

Kaidan spoke from his new spot sprawled across the floor, "That was really creepy."

Garrus shuddered, mouth bone dry. "What happens when it's complete?"

Her long pause filled him with dread. Then she said, "Honestly, I'm not sure. Presumably, it's meant to let them know where you are."

"But why?"

"Only one reason I can think of." She spread her hands. "Something to do with Shepard."

His breath hitched and he shook anew. "You don't think . . . that maybe she's . . .."

He couldn't even say the word. It cut him to even think it. But Kaidan, with typical drunken tact, finished his thought for him, "Shepard's alive?"

Garrus swallowed against the guts that wanted to climb up out of his mouth in denial of that single question. Because it led to so many others. What if she is? What if they have her? What are they doing to her? Whatever happened on the Crucible remained a mystery even as it seemed a miracle. The war ended on a question mark. And those question marks still flitted between the stars out there, manifested in the shape of giant metal squids.

His talon swept around to point at his visor. "Did . . . _that_ complete the signal?"

"Not quite. I installed a program to track the compiled data." Liara hummed and scrubbed at her eyes. "One thing, though. I fully expected there to be an automatic 'send' subroutine in the code for when it's complete, but it seems there isn't. It won't transmit until you activate it."

"Until _I _activate it?"

"Well, it came to you. And it's coded to your biometrics. There wasn't a single spike in the crap it threw at me. Whatever it is, it's for your eyes only."

"What if they're trying to paint me for an orbital strike or . . . OR what if it's the 'finish killing everything' order?"

Kaidan sat up and burped. Then he waved at the monitors. "Coded in cheesy love songs? Doubt it."

Liara looked at him in shock. "He's right. Goddess, I am so stupid! I dismissed the content of the songs themselves after we found the messa-er, signal."

Garrus gazed about, nonplussed. He rubbed the back of his neck and took a couple deep, deep breaths before letting himself contemplate the impossible for the first time ever. He braced himself for the backlash as he thought, _What if Shepard's alive?_

His heart skipped a beat and his plates flushed, but other than a painful longing that welled up beneath his keel, there came not a peep from his inner cynic. Strange. He pushed again, _What if she's looking for me?_

Again, his nemesis stayed silent. Joy, the first stirrings of it anyway, shivered along his spine. _What would I give to be back at her side?_

The answer came quicker than he expected and seemed likely to crush him under its weight, _Everything._

Truth never spoke so to him before, plain and bold. Now the_ other_ 'what ifs' assailed him, and he shook off their clingy essence of negativity. To those who watched him, he said, "These 'messages,' while annoying, don't seem overtly hostile. They feel like . . . mischief."

"Sounds like her," agreed Kaidan.

Liara nodded, as well, though her eyes said keeping her up for days on end was definitely hostile. "So, you plan on activating it."

He answered the non-question with a laugh. "Not here. Somewhere the locals won't take potshots at whatever shows up. I'll let you know the day of, just in case. And hope that we don't destroy the galaxy with the press of a button."

The asari put her hand on his forearm and smiled up at him. "I know you're only half a person now, Garrus, and in your shoes, I wouldn't let anyone stop me either. But be careful, it's still the Reapers. You know, vastly alien, unknowable . . . and sneaky."

Garrus gave her a brief hug with one arm and scooped up Kaidan with the other, letting the man lean on him for support as they made their exit. The visor rested on his cheek with comforting familiarity. For the first time in a long time, he smelled a challenge on the horizon. And the hope that impossible dreams might one day be realized.


	4. Chapter 4

"If they flatten my lodge, I'm so going to kick your ass."

Garrus smirked. "You can try."

Kaidan muttered to himself as he got up to retrieve drinks from the fridge. "Beer? No? How 'bout you, Vega?"

"Yeah, toss me one." The burly human plopped down onto the floor and pressed his bare feet close to the grill of the fireplace.

Garrus watched those freaky toe things wiggle in the warmth for a moment before saying, "You know, you guys don't have to be here."

James snorted. "What? And miss out on you getting abducted by aliens? No way, Scars."

"Yeah. Plus, you might need some help if all hell breaks loose," Kaidan added.

"We got your back, hermano."

"Like two more guys is really going to matter if they attack. I don't think the others will be pleased if you boys return all husk-ified."

"As if they'd be kind if we let you get maraudered. Or brute-ed."

_Disquieting thought,_ Garrus turned to Kaidan. "I think I _will_ have that beer after all."

"One dextro-friendly brew, coming right up!"

A few bottles later and he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders. The trio settled into a comfortable silence.

Vega broke the peace first. "What do you think's gonna happen?"

"I don't know. Maybe nothing." Even as the words left his mouth, Garrus knew he himself didn't believe them. Not for a micro-second.

"They wouldn't have gone to all this trouble for nothing." Kaidan grumbled, clasping his hands over his chest as he leaned against the bunk.

"What's Alliance Command going to do if that button summons a whole host of the big nasties?" James inquired, his brown eyes serious under the mop of hair he'd let grow after the war. Garrus thought maybe he planned to try the pompadour look. Vega and Kaidan; the Pompadourians. The Pompadeers. _All for pomade, and pomade for all!_ Garrus hid a smile behind his hand.

"Nothing. Liara has them under wraps. You better believe we're under the microscope, though." Garrus closed his eyes and imagined the vast array of short-range sensors, AA platforms and ships that must be hovering over them in the sky. "You know they wouldn't dare open fire on Reapers unless said Reapers attack first."

"Those fuckers give me the creeps. The way they just . . . hang around."

Kaidan grunted. "I heard that just the sight of one caused a riot on Eden Prime. Hundreds of civilian casualties. And it's not like the damn Reaper even_ did_ anything. Just floated there."

The quiet that followed was anything but comfortable. Garrus cleared his throat. "Well, I don't think my visor's a doomsday device."

"How do we know that, though?" Vega said.

"Well, it's not exactly the traditional delivery system, is it? Doomsday devices tend to be more laser-y," The turian reasoned, "with scary, pointy bits to show how threatening they are. Nothing like my modest Kuwashii custom job."

"You know that thing's slick as hell." Kaidan said, a smile quirking his lips. "They make a kid's toy version of it now."

"Really?" What a flattering notion.

"Yeah, right next to the Garrus Vakarian plushie."

" . . . Really." Okay, not so flattering.

"Yeah, you press a button and it goes, _'Scoped and dropped!'" _Kaidan laughed.

"Why would you be shopping for kid's toys, Alenko?" Garrus scowled at the incorrigible human.

"I sent off a half dozen to Wrex's kids. That Urdnot Mordin has a bad case of hero worship when it comes to you, you know."

Now Garrus felt unsure whether to be horrified or not. A krogan looking up to a turian? He couldn't help the kernel of warmth that flickered near his heart, though.

"So when you gonna do it?" Vega's voice broke his reverie.

Garrus rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he'd never been able to break. "Not sure. Signal's been complete for days. Just trying to pick the right time, you know?"

"Trying to work up the balls, you mean."

He conceded, "That, too."

"Just do it. You're gonna do it sooner or later, so . . .." James waved his hand in the air in a circular motion.

Garrus thought about it for a bit, bowing his head over his beer. He took a long pull from the bottle before standing in one smooth, easy motion. The humans' eyes tracked him as he strode to the door.

Kaidan said, "What are you doing?"

"Might as well do it now, right?" He pulled the door open and stepped out into the brisk mountain air. The full moon leered down at him over the snowy peaks that rimmed the valley. _Perfect._ He couldn't have planned a more dramatic setting. The two humans shuffled out in his wake, tense and expectant. A look over his shoulder showed him their wide, unblinking stares. He felt giddy, and a bit frightened. He saw this reflected on their faces and smiled a cocky smile, as if to say, _Do or die. Now or never. And all such cliches._

Garrus opened his comms. "Liara, I'm doing it."

"Now?!"

"Yes, now."

"But I was-it-there isn't-" He heard her scramble, various beeping and booping sounds bleeding through the omnitool. At last, she spoke, her voice quaking a tiny bit under her seeming serenity, "All right. We're standing by. Good luck, Garrus."

"Thanks, Liara." _For everything._ He pressed the activation code before he could second-guess himself and held his breath. The sky matched him stare for stare, giving nothing away. Not a single damned thing.

At minute four, he took a breath. And then another. Kaidan and James shifted on their feet behind him.

An hour passed and still nothing. His mandibles ached from where they clenched against his cheeks. Suppressing the mad urge to scream at the sky or throw a fit, he settled for tapping his toes on the snow, arms crossed. Finally, he sighed and looked away from the empty starscape. "Well, gentlemen, I think it's a bust."

"Hmm, disappointing." Kaidan volunteered, with careful tact.

"Getting stood up sucks. Sorry, Scars." Vega stepped forward and clapped his shoulder.

His comms crackled and spit. Liara's voice floated through over the static, "What happened?"

"Nothing. Just . . . nothing," Garrus said, "Maybe the Reapers learned how to prank call."

Liara mumbled something indiscernible through the omnitool, then said, "I'm sure the signal went out. Maybe there's a malfunction or-"

"It's fine, Liara. Go back to bed. Get some rest." He cut off her reply with a press of a key. To Kaidan and James, he drawled, "Wanna get shit-faced?"

The tension broke as they burst into laughter. He joined them, albeit a bit strained. Diving into the small liquor cabinet, he came back to the fireplace with Terran bourbon and a large bottle of ryncol.

Many stories and jokes passed between them as the night wore on. Garrus _almost _forgot the crippling disappointment that flooded him when he realized the thing was a dud.

"-I mean, whaddid I 'spect anyway? Shep comin' down from the sky on a friggin' rainbow or someshit?" The cabin looked funny from this angle, that is to say, _upside-down_. Sometime during the night, he'd half-fallen off the bed and never bothered to right himself. A few feet away, Kaidan and Vega leaned against each other and nodded at his statement in sage tandem. Garrus wanted to tell them that from where he was sitting, it looked like someone glued the pair to the ceiling by their butts, but the words got lost behind the sudden hurt that filled him. He wanted to whine like a petulant child. He wanted to roar and rant.

"Wiv fireworks an'-and elephantsan' shit." Kaidan contributed.

Garrus sighed and said, "Y'guys miss her, too, right? S'not jus' me bein' all, whazzitcalled, sappy?"

Kaidan's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he succeeded in vocalizing an actual sentence. "'Coursewe dooo, Grrss. Shewas . . . great. Jus' great."

"Guys, I jus', I luv'er. Loved her. Wha'ever. Y'knowwhatImean?"

Vega pointed at Garrus' face and laughed. "Ha! Scars. Scarface. Say hello to my leetle friend!"

"I dun' wantchu t'make me say 'ullo to your little _any_thing." And with that wise and witty riposte, Garrus' brain decided to close shop for the night.

* * *

_**"BHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGHGHGNGHGH!"**_

A sound out of the deepest, darkest nightmares ripped the men out of their dreams. Garrus found himself on his feet, ready to kill. Fear and hate danced the tango in his breast, alongside his savage drum of a heart. He cried out as blinding blue light flooded the cabin. Kaidan and James echoed him, hands up before their eyes.

Something landed outside their lodge and from the way it sounded like it kept on landing for quite a while, it must be humongous. The creak and whine of heavy machinery split the air in a cacophony. After what felt like an hour, silence descended on the cabin-nay, the whole valley; eerie and complete. Only their harsh breaths and breathless questions confounded the strange idea that time had somehow stopped.

Garrus looked at Kaidan. Kaidan looked at Vega. And Vega couldn't stop staring at the door and what might be behind it.

Some semblance of calm came to Garrus in the wake of that awful wail, only to shatter once again when there came upon the door a knock. Then another. And another. Three heavy knocks that shook the door in its frame. A fan of dust trickled through the light that still drenched them head to hip through the small windows.

Vega reached for the knob, slow and uncertain. Garrus froze, both wanting him to turn it and fearing what that would set into motion.

Kaidan hissed, "James!"

The marine paused, then shot a look over his shoulder. "They _knocked."_

The absurdity of it all asserted itself on Garrus. That those terrible monsters would do, _could _do something as civil as knock blew his fucking_ mind_. With a hard swallow and a glance at Kaidan, he nodded for Vega to continue. Out of his periphery, he saw Alenko do the same.

Vega turned the knob and opened the door. Craning his neck, Garrus tried to look around the marine, but there was so much marine to look around and in any case, the light kept him from seeing much of anything.

He did, however, see the way Vega's head tilted back and then back some more. James seemed as frozen as a statue as he stared at whatever it was that stood at the door and requested audience. Garrus felt just as immobilized.

And just when he thought that perhaps doom had indeed come for them all, James turned his head and looked at him. "Garrus. I think it's for you."


	5. Chapter 5

Silliness carried him up the ramp and into Harbinger's dark, maw-like interior. Absurdity compelled him to sit where he was bidden at a polite prompt on his visor's HUD. Folly led him here, in the dark, shaking and expecting to be torn apart at any moment. These softer words helped him cope with what he would otherwise call madness. He didn't feel mad. But then again, crazy people don't believe they're crazy.

Assured by the presence in the ship that he wouldn't be harmed, he'd agreed to board. That unless he wished it, the one once called Harbinger would stay grounded and he could leave at any time. Kaidan and Vega, who would have come with him if he hadn't said no, remained at the base of the ramp, keeping vigil. Risking one was better than risking three. And it might be simple self-delusion, but the palpable menace these things exuded like an aura seemed to be absent.

More words strung themselves across his vision, '_Close your eyes and listen.'_

He'd come this far, might as well go the whole nine. The dark behind his eyelids held no more answers than the gloom without. His nostrils flared as they began searching for a threat he couldn't see. The primitive part of his brain insisted he be wary, as if he didn't know that. His hands sweated in their gloves. The chair, not designed for a race with a raised, plated back, made him hunch in on himself. Annoyance fluttered about his mind as nothing happened. And kept happening.

About to growl in frustration, he realized that he wasn't listening at all. Too many worries clouded his awareness. Garrus breathed a deep breath and let it out, along with his fears and anxieties. Okay, he was on a Reaper. But he'd been here for at least ten minutes and nothing had leapt out yet to devour him. That had to count for something, right? So, he listened.

At first, nothing kept happening. But somewhere between worrying that something _would _happen and worrying that it wouldn't, nothing gave way to a low hum. A reverberating undertone in the massive ship around him. He heard-

"_Garrus."_ The tiniest breath of a whisper, but nonetheless it had him bolting upright in his chair. Fear that he'd imagined it sparked up his spine.

"Jane?" He wanted to open his eyes, to look for her, but it took all of his concentration to listen, daring a repeat of that soft voice.

It didn't disappoint. "_Garrus." _A bit louder now, so he could hear her sweet alto tones. Only now they had a rolling burr riding shotgun, much like the familiar subharmonics in his own voice.

"Jane, tell me it's really you," he begged.

_"It's me."_ Then he gasped and quaked as he felt the sensation of a hand sliding along his jaw and mandible. His eyelids twitched and he would have opened them if the voice hadn't then said,_ "Keep your eyes closed."_

"I want to see you. Please, let me see you."

That soft voice chuckled. "_Maybe later. But first, I have to tell you something important."_

"What?"

"_Your visor is really stupid."_

"You take that back." He couldn't help but smile and think that yes, that had to be Shepard. Only she couldn't resist teasing him in the middle of the most dire of circumstances.

"_No, really. As far as programming goes, your visor rode the short bus to school. It would only swallow pea-sized amounts of data. Why didn't you check your extranet messages?" _Now he could just see her frowning that pouty frown she flashed when she felt thwarted.

"Extranet's down. Might as well not even exist for all the good it's doing us."

_"Oh."_

A suspicion blossomed in his mind. "Just how many messages did you send me?"

_"Only a few." _Reticence meant she was hiding something.

"How many exactly?"

_"One thousand, six hundred and forty-two." _

He couldn't help himself, he laughed. Something what felt like a finger thumped him on the nose.

_"It's not that funny." _As he continued to chuckle, the voice of Shepard sighed. "_Okay, it's a bit funny."_

Garrus asked the dreaded question, "Where have you been? And why won't you let me see you?"

_"It's hard to explain. This way, anyway. Suffice it to say, I'm not really . . . me any more."_

"What do you mean, you're not really you?" Now he did open his eyes and what he saw made him start back in surprise. A blue, glowing, bipedal form stood before him, it's features fuzzy and indistinct. What looked like streams of code flitted about it, like ribbons or streamers. He'd seen this sort of thing before, on Ilos, on Thessia. "You're a hologram."

The thing shrugged. "_Sort of, yeah. It's a long story."_

"But you touched me." He reached up to feel the place it had caressed him.

_"Ultrasonic waves. And a little biofeedback manipulation. And other stuff I can't really explain in a spoken language."_

"Right, cause you're an engineer and I'm just a dumb grunt." Sarcasm; his best self-defense mechanism. But it was true to a point. They spent hours on both Normandy's arguing about one targeting algorithm's merits over another, but he always had the feeling that she could take apart the ship's stealth drive and have no problem putting it back together. Probably run better, too.

_"Garrus, you know how hard it is to converse this way? It's like trying to talk in only vowels."_

He imagined this and felt a smile creep back onto his face. Then it fell off. "So, is this some sort of QE Communicator, then? Where are you? Like, your actual body?"

"_Can't wait to get your hands on me, hmm? Well, I hate to tell you this, soldier, but, ah, you're standing in it."_ The hologram ducked its head.

Horror colored his voice, "You're a _Reaper?"_

_"Well, it's probably more accurate to say . . . the Reapers are me."_

"What?!" His one hand flew to his fringe, the other to his hip. He felt his mandibles go slack in an expression of pure astonishment. "Shepard, how is that possible?"

_"You always did want the answers to impossible questions, didn't you? How can I put this simply? So, once upon a time, there was this master program called the Catalyst. Snarky little bastard, pretty juvenile for all that he'd been around for countless millenia. Anyway, turns out he was in charge of all the Reapers. The pinhead at the top of a mountain of muscle. Eradicating all advanced civilizations was his smart idea. But a single pawn made it to the top of the mountain and . . . shoved," _the hologram mimicked the action as it-no, _she_ spoke, "_him off."_

"Sooo . . . you're the new pinhead?" Garrus couldn't help noticing that her voice got a lot clearer the longer he listened. And her shape; more distinguishable. Womanly curves now showed where there had been only the most rudimentary outline. He could almost see her face now.

Shepard laughed. "You_ could put it that way. When the Crucible fired, it re-wrote all the Reapers with my mental template. I ousted the old king by shoving my own brain into his body, i.e. the Reapers."_

"So, now, _they_ are all _you." _Garrus took a deep, shuddering breath. "Spirits, Shepard, that's pretty damn freaky."

_"Tell me about it." _Shepard sounded morose for a moment, then straightened up and rubbed her hands together. "_On the bright side, I got my hands on all this snazzy new tech."_

"What is it with you humans and your bright sides? And none of that explains why all of . . . _this_?" He gestured at himself, his visor, the whole situation with the signal.

Her face was clear enough now that he saw the tilt of her jaw, and the way her eyes widened as they seemed to focus on his. She reached through the air separating them, but didn't quite touch his face. _"You know why."_

How he wanted to lean into that hand and taste for one second the love he'd found with this woman when she'd been alive. Truly alive. He shook the impulse off and said in chilly tones, "No. You don't need me. Not anymore. You're immortal. How am I going to watch your back when you have hundreds of them?"

_"Thousands."_

Garrus threw his hands into the air. "See?"

"_You're wrong, Garrus. I do need you. You're my own personal Jimminy Cricket. You always have been. You have no idea how hard it's been to look, but not touch. To keep myself from interfering. How easy it would be to swoop in and take over every policing action in the galaxy. It wouldn't be right. And they sure as hell wouldn't accept it. I didn't dare contact anyone official, because I knew nothing I could tell them or show them could ever let me be more than a monster to them. Someday, I might not be able to resist the temptation. So . . . I can't stay. I have no place here."_

His heart thumped and his throat constricted. She was going to leave again? Something in her tone brooked a finality that set his limbs trembling. He rasped, "Explain."

_"In the early days, billions of years ago, the Catalyst sent off scouts through the endless black past the rim. Their goal was establishing a beachhead in the Andromeda galaxy." _Shepard looked at him with a tight smile on her glowing face. _"You're not the only one receiving signals. The way is open."_

"So, you're going to leave me." He couldn't keep the sorrow that swept through him from tinging his words. Then he saw her true intention. "No, it's more than that. You want me to go with you."

_"I know it's a lot to ask. Probably too much. God knows I never deserved you and your faith in me-"_

"Damn right, it's a lot to ask. Fuck, Jane, leave behind everything and everyone I know? Our friends, _my sister?"_

_"So, that's a no, then." _She hung her head. "_I understand-"_

Garrus snatched at her hand as she made to turn away and felt frustrated when his hand passed right through hers. "Wait. I just-It's a lot to take in, you know?"

She touched his face and he did lean into her fuzzy palm, felt her cradle his cheek as she had on that ramp during the final push to the beam. He closed his eyes at the bittersweet memory.

_"Nothing's changed for me, Garrus. What I said then, I meant and still do. Whatever you decide." _

"Give me time. Can I have time?" He pressed his mouthplates to her palm and marveled at the tingling sensation that triggered in his skin.

_"I can't stay long, but I'll try to leave an ear in the Sol system."_

She said it like it wasn't her home anymore, which he supposed, it really couldn't be. Not ever again.

As he strode back down the ramp, he felt his heart quicken at the thought of knowing she would be out there somewhere, traversing the universe without him. Garrus stopped at the bottom of the ramp, where Kaidan and Vega gaped at him in surprise. He couldn't shake the feeling that once he stepped off the ramp and let the ship leave, a door would close and he would be denied . . . _some_thing. Then he spun back toward the ship and paused again. Forward or back, he just couldn't seem to get his feet to decide.

_Stupid feet, _he thought. Garrus decided that feet were useless at conundrums of the heart and let the expert take charge. Given free reign, that bit of meat that pumped blood to all his extremities seemed to want to yank him back into the ship by his ribcage.

He thought, _Well, that's that._

"Scars, you okay?"

Jumping a bit, he shot a look of chagrin at the beefy marine. "Yeah, Jimmy. I'm just . . .."

Kaidan eyed him, "Just what?"

Garrus took a deep breath and smiled at his friends. "Do you think you could grab my stuff for me? I got a couple letters to write."

Puzzled, the two men did as he asked. Then, he had a long conversation with Liara, passing his notes to her knowing that she'd find a way to get them where they needed to go. When he collected his things from the now glowering men who'd put up with his bullshit for years, he told them, "I know you're going to think it's sudden and strange, but I'm, uh, leaving. Probably for good."

They argued with him, thinking it a joke at first. Then anger made the argument bitter until finally, with many an embrace and heartfelt goodbye, they let him go. Kaidan wiped a tear away as he pounded the turian's back. "You take care of yourself, Garrus. Don't let her run roughshod all over you like she used to."

"I won't."

"Scars, I don't know what to say." The huge marine looked down and away, digging a hole in the snow with the tip of one boot.

"_You're_ at a loss for words, Jimmy? Someone mark this day down on a calendar." He joked and felt gladness when they laughed at his poor attempt at drollery. They'd survive without him. "Make sure you pass out my hugs, got it? Even Wrex's."

"I can't just give his to Tali? Damn."

"And if you see my sister-ah, you know what, stay away from my sister. You humans do weird things to us turians. Drive us insane, for one." He waved at the metal beast at his back. With one more goodbye that made his keel ache, he stepped back into the ship.

Shepard waited for him in, guess he should call it, the command deck. Her face lit up upon seeing him. She snarked,_ "Forget something?"_

He rolled his eyes as he plopped back into _his_ chair, as it was obvious she didn't need one. "I'm in, but only on one condition."

_"What?"_

"You have to say, 'Garrus, I do not, in fact, think your visor is stupid.'" He waited.

_"Garrus, I do not, in fact, think your visor is stupid." _

_"_Good. Now say, 'Your visor is slick as hell and sexy to boot.'"

_"Your visor is slick as hell and sexy to boot." _Her lips stretched into a warm smile.

"Last time. Say, 'Garrus, I lo-" He stopped when her hand came up to cover his mouth.

Her ghostly lips trailed tingly kisses along his mandible. _"Garrus, I love you."_

He sighed a happy sigh. Not the happily ever after he'd envisioned, but it was as close as he was ever likely to get. As long as he had her, it would be enough.


	6. Chapter 6

**Epilogue:**

"I'm indoctrinated, aren't I?" He worked on the chair, retooling it to be somewhat more comfortable for his bony ass to sit in.

Shepard handed him a spanner as she replied, "Sorta, kinda, not really. I had to bring you a little closer so you could understand me when I speak. And see me."

"Hmph. Well, so long as I don't start sounding like Saren. _'Is submission not preferable to extinction?' " _He let his voice drop into a lower register and amped the gravelly quality of his subharmonics.

The shining blue woman at his side did a double take. "Okay, that was creepy. Don't do that anymore."

"_Do what, Shepard?"_

_"_Stop!" She clutched at her sides as she laughed. _Strange. It's not like she even has ribs._ Suddenly, her eyes glowed white hot and she intoned, _**"This hurts you!"**_

"No, now that. That was creepy." He guffawed along with her until he rolled on the floor with mirth.

A little while later, they lay together, shoulder to shoulder, looking at the stars of this new place they'd found. It was hard to believe he'd followed her to a whole different galaxy. To hell and back, sure, but then hell had always seemed just a heartbeat away. On their new observation deck with its flickering mass effect field keeping the oxygen from escaping, he watched Harbinger's sister ships flit to and fro in his periphery.

He pointed at one, playing the new game they'd dreamed up to pass the time. "Who's there?"

"Me," she said, following their silly ritual, "but also, the J'halai. They evolved on a moon orbiting a gas giant. Their methane atmosphere turned their hair bright blue and and their skin gold. Androgynous tree-dwellers. Not a one ever stood on the soil of their world. They first took to the stars in huge, diaphonous vessels, tossed about on the solar winds. They _flew, _oh, how they flew. It took them four hundred years to find the Citadel, but when they did, they didn't hesitate to open every relay they came across. They met the Kuoji-"

She pointed at another ship, then another. "And the Pakspaquin. Together, the three races wiped out all the others, but were nearly destroyed by a plague of intelligent nanites. After that, though, they had harmony. Until . . .."

"Is it all just data? Or are they really in there?"

"Am I just data? Or did this Crucible, so aptly named, just burn away everything but the essential _me?" _Shepard hummed in amusement. "They sleep. Somewhere under all the command protocols and twisted beliefs, I think they're in there. Somewhere."

"We should wake them."

"If I knew how, I would."

Garrus rolled up onto his side and looked down into her brilliant blue eyes. His knuckles ran over the contour of her glowing cheek. "They're your nation, now. All of them. You fought for turians, asari, humans, salarians and all the rest. These are no different."

"I suppose we have nothing better to do."

He nuzzled her neck, paying no mind to the fact that he couldn't really feel her. In rumbling tones, he teased, "Or do we?"

She laughed at him and slid one hand over his chest. "We really need to find me a body."

"Yes, we do." He agreed, nodding once. Waving at the stars, he said, "Maybe somewhere out there is an advanced civilization that does just that."

"There must be millions of weird and wonderful things to see out here. Let's go chase them down!"

Laughing, he darted after her into the ship, his new home. But then, home had always been Shepard. He just never thought it'd be so literal.


End file.
